Diary 16.09.2013

Time flies...

I'm in my second flight from Frankfurt to Lisbon.

Last days were really emotional... the approach to summer's end and my trip back to Portugal was really hard for me.

Saying goodbye to Dace this time was one of the hardest moments I’ve ever had.

I know I need to finish studies and she needs to work and earn money but I have a deep feeling this was a mistake...

It's going to be so difficult to be far from her again even knowing that we'll be together in November...

I'll try to have a quick flashback about summer.

The summer wasn't perfect of course, we had some disagreements, as humans that we are. I didn't had any activities so my free time was a problem... but for me it was perfect as it was... I adored it, it was so amazing to be with her in a daily life routine, and above everything, I think it was important for our relationship.

I remember first day when i was totally excited arriving from Lisbon. I had some little sweets from Lisbon and we just went straight to room... So good!

Second weekend we were in country side in some sport games with her mother it was such a fun :)

During all time I had many adventures with her dad, buying the bike, going to the market and also to swimming pool and with her mother trying to understand each other only with gestures :)

So many times playing with Puki :D

We were trying to run all the evenings but in the end we did it like 2 or 3 times.

When we went to the river beach by bike mmmmm :)

So many bike rides around the city...

The dinners we had in garlic restaurant, in crème burlee restaurant and also in wok to walk :))

When we went to see the lone ranger in cinema, it was so romantic... and also the Pedro Almodover movie it was so funny :)

When I show up in the end of driving lessons to run the bus by bike and we actually were a little sad before tat moment :)

Climbing to 17ºfloor of science building and seeing the amazing view of Riga :)

Several lunches in the park, little square, cafeteria, ministry... etc :)

Our trip to Liepaja hitchhiking, mmm sooo good <3

The Laba Daba festival always sleeping in tent with the spiders company :)))

The trip to Belarus so amazing!! With some bad moments, some incredible moments, but damn so many stories, the train, difficulties to get tickets, rain... :)

Meeting her grandfather and is wife it was so good :) they are so adorable I felt really good that she wanted to introduce me her grandfather it's another part of her that she's sharing with me :)

It was really admirable to see two persons that love each other so much after such a long time and the lovely way they play with each others having separate candy boxes but stealing each other’s candies and putting toys guarding them :)))

I really want to build something like that with Dace in our way of course :)

Seeing Novopolotsk, going to church with her grandfather, seeing polotsk, sweet talk near the river, going to ortodoxal church, specking about death and funerals which in fact was hard for me, but makes part of life...

Being sick of eating so much :D
When her grandfather’s wife said she doesn't like seeing old pictures because then she reminds that time went way already and she’s so old... I felt really sad for her that moment... but also reminds me how important is to live life enjoy each moment because has summer as already ended every moment will finish so I want to live...

Two weekends ago we went to Tallinn with her brother it was so nice to come back there, the place where I met Dace, where we kissed first time, made love first time, had tea walks and so many other memories... Many mixed feeling... it was weird with lots of nostalgia. But I didn't find the same city, it's difficult to explain... It was so good and so special when I was there and the memories remain but now the city it's not "ours" anymore as Dace was saying, she was joking saying city doesn't want us there anymore and it's saying that we should move on and think it's really true...

This last weekend it was hard, I tried to have fun but all the time was in my mind that I had to say goodbye and imagining how it would be living far from her again... sometimes I closed my eyes and imagined already walking in Portugal now I open my eyes and I’m actually living it... it's so strange and so fast...

It's so difficult to deal with this in the first days...

As I was saying we planned bungee jumping so we rented a car had such a great weekend. We went to incupe beach, I played guitar, we sang, we walked, talked, hugged, kissed... traveled around with car... Then went to sigulda but it was dark and we had a feeling it was not the right time for jumping so we left it for somewhere in future :) Honestly I don't care, everything was so good.
Next day even harder... She took me to the Mall near the port, and that place was so beautiful, it's so mystical, I cannot even put it on words, only being there people can understand...

Then day was calmly going to the end... We arrived and made love one last time... We went to run little bit, cooked lasagna and ate, then she made heart waffles while I packed and we went to sleep... I played Time of your Life because I definitely had one Time of my life with her this summer, and I hope we will have much more!

Then I was really afraid to fall asleep because didn't want to wake up next day...

When I woke up just hugged her and started to cry... damn so hard I just started to cry writing this, I cannot describe in words what I feel in my chest when I think in that moment, then we went to airport and said goodbye...

I feel really stupid writing this... because I complaining that we didn't do anything...

Damn we did so so so much... So many moments and memories...

I'm still thinking and they keep on coming...

Cooking dinners... Smiles... Cleaning faces... Massaging... Palming... Dancing with bare feet on the garden with eyes closed and without music :D then with music too :)

Playing guitar in garden while she was making yoga... Going to yoga together... Damn I’m crying again why didn't I stay there or she didn't come with me?

I really hope I have an opportunity to talk with her and tell her how much I love her how much I miss her... And tell her how incredible the summer was and how much things we did...

I didn't have anything to do and because of that, I was bored so I was requiring her attention all the time… I was really childish... I really want to ask her sorry and tell how much I appreciate everything she made for me... I don't even have words for it...

And the memories keep coming... When she gave me the present I almost cried of emotion, so perfect... When she gave me the Volkswagen minivan because I was sad... The lingerie she bought and used in the night :))) When she dressed the maid costume from theater :)

The seduction games we did... The times we fucked... The times we made love... The session about photography... The lecture about Australian aborigines... Drinking with Paula... Drinking with jolanda... Drinking with anna... The goodbye dinner with her parents, brother and liva was so sweet... The goodbye party with anna rolands marta, mara and cristjans, dancing and drinking :)
Hugs... Kisses... Touches... Feelings... Love...

I just cannot stop writing memories...So many... I adored this two months they were incredible!

I'm waiting for you Dace!!

I love you so much...

Thank you for everything <3

PS: Couldn't end without mentioning the moment when you offered me this diary before trip to belarus :)))))

Es Tevi Milu!